She could not have been more than 5 years old. She was looking through enormous binoculars which she held steadily in her very small hands. If she was a bird watcher – she would have had “Good Glass” which is a term used by avid birders who invest in expensive equipment. She held steadily a very high-end “visual enhancement tool.” I marveled at how she could even lift them - much less could hold them for such a long time. I feared that if she allowed them to drop from her hands, with the strap around her neck the apparent weight would cause her to bend at the waist as the glass hit the dirt in front of her. But instead, she just stood and looked. Feet spread apart, hair blowing in the breeze coming up the draw that was created by the roadside overlook on the side of a mountain road, she was intense, focused and taking in the apparent detail of the distant hills and valleys. She was “look’n” with all her might. Her father walked up to me and said, “She demanded those for Christmas. She loves to be look’n.” I pondered if she was to be a naturalist, astronomer or a typographer when she grew up. No doubt this early and intense interest in terrain, and far way things, be it animals or earth, would not deter her from her quest to see and know about this fascinating world.
“Does she get her interest in visual things from you?” I asked. “I would love to take credit” he said, “but we adopted her when she was 2 days old. I don’t know anything about her DNA or any other influences that make her such a fascinating child. But her immense interest in things is a joy beyond understand for me and my wife”. He turned to me and with a patient smile said, “We will be here a while.” I asked him if she talked about what she saw. “She will tell us when she is done looking at things. She usually gives us a recap of what she found interesting in the car going home. Funny thing, she seldom offers to let us use her glasses so that we can see too. She seems to like to interpret the experience, rather than let us take it in”. It was an interesting conversation to have on the side of the road with a stranger.
How does the DNA get combined to produce the uniqueness of each person and personality? I guess or I know only God really understand that chemical process that joins biological matter to create human life. The results are a miracle. Funny kids, serious kids, short term attention kids, kids with food allergies, kids that can do cartwheels and climb furniture way too fast, kids whose gifts and talents and interest like “look’n” are uniquely theirs, are all God’s creations. Even the kids that have trouble with math or spelling have cells that are knit together to bring to the world as an adult, an untold and immeasurable contribution. Adoptive parents have a wonderful opportunity to share in the resulting new life of a child that has come into the world because a brave birthmother made the decision to choose adoption for her child.
As a Christian, I have stood against abortion for a long time. But the impact of what that means is so far reaching in today’s world that it almost takes my breath away. There are thousands of aborted children who did not get to run fast, stop on a dime “give 9 cents change” as the old expression goes. Kids that would have changed the world or at the very least the world of an adoptive family who would have stood with open arms to receive, love and nurture into adulthood, a child who never had a chance to be.
Adoption is not for everyone. But without a doubt, abortion is for NO one. An unexpected pregnancy is not a reason to end or remove life from this world. Even when pregnancy seemed unplanned, unexpected, it was not so with God. The wonder, the joyous laughter and the contribution of a child is a God ordained blessing. The life should not be snatched from God’s hands by an abortion clinic or on a whim of inconvenience at a moment of time and circumstance. The choice of adoption is the courageous thing, the brave thing, the God honoring thing, when faced with life circumstances that do not lend themselves to raising a child. It is the right choice. Changing the face of adoption by recognizing the role of the birthmother as one of true bravery has become the new focus of adoption groups who serve birthmothers today. Adoption for the birthmother brings with it emotional pain and echoing reflections of how life’s road is forever changed based on a few disjointed decisions. That fact is undeniable, but, for the birthmother who has so bravely chosen adoption for her child, the courage she has demonstrated is one which she can stand on for the rest of her life with the knowledge that she made the brave decision not to terminate her preganancy. Abortion, however, carries no validation of courage. It takes as its prize the consequences that affect the peace of mind of the mother in secret contemplation throughout her life. The choice of life, to enable life, is one to be honored by all.
When taking a good long look at life using “Good Glass” to really see what is not only here in the present but out into the future, what does a birthmother see? She will see herself courageously choosing life for your child. She can allow herself to feel pride in viewing her life choice to gift a child through adoption to another family. She can stand firmly on the roadside overlook of her life to bravely see a wondrous world where her child is living, because she chose to be “a life saver”.
All rights reserved. 4.10.16 Sharon Fox