Crisis Response Ministry (Gaye Gardner, Collin County Director)
I have known Sharon Fox for over 20 years. We both attend Christ Church in Plano. I first met Sharon through a Grief Recovery class that she was leading. She has blessed so many people by being available to walk them through the grief process.
I currently serve as a Chaplain with a non- profit called Crisis Response Ministry. I am the Collin County Chapter Director. Our primary mission is taken from 2 Corinthians 1:4, 'Comfort others with the comfort you have received." CRM’s guiding philosophy is to minister to people out of compassion and provides a genuine demonstration of God’s love and mercy.
In Collin County, we respond to calls from law enforcement to be on scene to help families that have had a traumatic event occur and one of those is suicide. I asked Sharon to come and speak to our Chaplains and Crisis Responders on the topic “The Sudden Death called Suicide”. We deal with a lot of suicides and we wanted Sharon’s expertise to help us as we minister to families that have lost a loved one to suicide.
Her presentation was illuminating and informative. It facilitated our ability to respond in an appropriate manner to traumatized families.
We greatly appreciate Sharon, her experience in this area and what she shared with us. She is truly a woman of God serving Him in a unique way!
My Story – Why I am so drawn to the Vital Ministry of the Shadowlands Grief Recovery Program (Michelle B.)
My Mama and Daddy were going through an acrimonious separation, which was something that didn't happen in 1969/1970 in good families. The wheels went flying off during the separation, resulting in Daddy ending his life by suicide in rural East Texas. Daddy had started this downward spiral path when he had an affair with a woman in his workplace. Mama was accused of driving him to do these terrible things.
Daddy's family, except for one brother, literally turned their backs on us. The separation and suicide were the sorts of things that NEVER, EVER happened in good Methodist families. Both sides of the family isolated us. Friends disappeared. During the whole thing it was just Mama and us girls and we were alone.
Mama didn't let me, or my younger sister attend the funeral. She had expected and thankfully shielded us from experiencing a catastrophic event where the family disfunction was on full display. One of the family members invited my daddy’s new girlfriend to the funeral. No one seemed to care that he and Mama were still married.
She had no one to talk to.
Prior to our move to Texas, we had lived in Kansas. Mama had developed a friendship with a Catholic priest who, as a part of his clerical duties, visited the nursing home where my mother worked. She liked Fr. Damon and what he told her about the Catholic faith. It was different from the Baptist preachers she had grown up with, or the Methodists she had married into. So, after Daddy died, Mama got out the Yellow Pages and called a local Catholic church and asked to speak with a priest. It was “too bad “the divorce was almost final when she became a widow due to a suicide. The priest couldn't/wouldn't talk with her.
The Easter following the funeral, Mama took us to an Episcopal church. She wasn't an Episcopalian, but she knew it was more like the Catholics than the Baptists and that was important to her. Mama made sure my sister and I were wearing our new Easter dresses. It was too bad we arrived in time for the service’s dismissal. Once again, she felt God was cruel and dead to her. We were all alone in that universe for several years.
I attended a Shadowlands Grief Recovery Program
As an adult I continued to experience losses. I kept thinking there must be help for me. I was looking for the God who I thought had vanished from my life as a child. I found something transforming when I attended Shadowlands. I felt for the first time that God was real and that he truly understood my heartache. I decided or rather felt the called to try to help others who grieve. I don’t want others to feel alone like I had felt for so long. I never want anyone to feel abandoned, without help, or hope. That is hell on earth.
I love Shadowlands because it is a lifeline to provide the spark of hope to keep the heart light burning. It offers understanding of the impact of loss, tips to manage the emotional blockades that hinder living in contentment, and methods to apply in all type of grief situations. The mission of the program is to support other by presenting God 's love and his desire to bring peace and healing to your soul. It is an amazing transformation that occurs through prayer and reading God’s word that guides you through your grief. It offers you knowledge about God’s faithfulness and his compassion for those who grieve. Shadowlands is the breath of fresh air you are looking for when you are in the dense fog of grief.
The Value of Shadowlands (Tracie Kapler)
Grief is love with no place to go. If we love deeply, we grieve deeply. The out of control feeling of loss can be overwhelming and all consuming. Yet, even through we did not have a choice regarding grief, we do have a choice about how to grieve. I chose to grieve openly and with loving support during my darkest season of loss when I joined Shadowlands grief recovery program housed in my church and open to everyone in the surrounding communities. Working through the materials with others who had experienced an intensely personal loss, enables me to manage grief and experience an openness within the group to share our sorrow and support one another. It just felt good to have somewhere to go where I could freely express myself, even cry, once a week. Shadowlands kept me afloat my first year of grieving. It was my weekly booster shot. Shadowlands helped me in my time of need. My journey through the grieving process is not yet complete, but the tools I have now help to mend my heart.
Healing Through Shadowlands (Julie Dowden)
I lost my daughter right after she turned twenty-one in 2016. A parent should never have to bury their child. I felt broken and truly thought I would die of a broken heart. Through the support and love of Sharon Fox introducing me to Shadowlands Group, I am healing. I needed support from the other people in the group. We talked about our loved ones, we cried, we laughed and we prayed together. Grieving is a painful process. I had to learn to ask for help and trust in God. I know I can always go back to Shadowlands if I need to.
Support through Shadowlands (The Rev. Markene Meyer)
I had the opportunity to be a part of a Shadowlands class twice. The first was for learning as an aid in ministry. The second was in January 2020 after the passing of my husband in December. My daughter and I shared the experience. The material was well organized and encouraging as I worked through the raw grief. Our time of sharing was supportive. I enjoyed the exercises as they allowed me to reflect and bring awareness to my emotional state. Each session is designed to guide you through your grief step by step. If you do the work, you will find that you have made the first step toward healing and hope. I encourage anyone to take Shadowlands. I have even found it helpful to go back over it at times for encouragement and strength. The knowledge and experience of the leadership is restorative and life giving.
From The Rev Jean Fairweather of Anglican Diocese of Jamaica & The Cayman Islands Diocese
It really is so good hearing from you at such a time as this when I am putting into practice a lot of what I learned from you! We recently experienced the sudden loss of a member of our team that is working with children (6-12) who have some behavioral issues. We knew that the children would be severely affected by this loss as they had developed a great relationship with her. The other members asked me to lead the session with their support to break the news to the children. I was so grateful to God for allowing me to have had the privilege of your instruction, especially the section “What Adults should know about Child Grief.” I see His purpose now in what has gone before and acknowledged His purpose in my life. This is my testimony and also my acknowledgement of you as God’s servant. The session was on the exact anniversary of my son’s death. Hallelujah! Abundant Blessings,
From Fr Jonathan Mohler
I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you what a blessing Shadowlands has been to me and my church. When I agreed to do this, it was really out of support for Michelle Briggs and to facilitate her passions. I really wasn’t sure how the class would go over. It has been such a blessing. It’s been a blessing to see people process their grief. I’m so thankful I said yes. I know I was hit or miss on your Zoom class, but it was great to see how you lead the course and how it’s meant to lay out. I’ve been talking about this class with some of my peers, and now another church in our diocese wants to introduce the course in their congregation! So once again, thank you!
Grieving with God Journal (Gail Bernard)
The journal “Grieving with God” arrived early this week. I must tell you I absolutely love the way it is written! It addresses all the stages of grief from a past loss to a somewhat fresh loss and is designed to bridge someone who has experienced a recent loss to go through the steps as often as needed. I want to gift the book to friends now and I also want to have several on hand to share.
Grief is a Journey (Vicky Warren)
Just a month before he died suddenly, my husband Paul adamantly made this pronouncement: “Every year we say we’re going to Italy, and every year something keeps us from going. Vicky, I’m telling you…Next year, WE ARE GOING TO ITALY! Just a few weeks later, he went—not to Italy—but to heaven! So, imagine my surprise when in session 2 of Shadowlands, Sharon directed us to turn to page 39 “Grief’s Journey—Loss & Change” and I read this written by Dr. Norman Meanes.
So much of life is like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, Michaelangelo’s David, even the gondolas in Venice, you will see them all! You may learn some handy phrases in Italian too! It’s all very exciting!
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Ten hours later, your plane lands. The flight attendant announces, “Welcome to Holland!” “HOLLAND?” you exclaim. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for ITALY! I’m supposed to be in Italy! All my life I dreamed of going to Italy.” But…there’s been a change in the flight plan.
That October morning (after only being home four days following my father’s funeral!), my flight plan was forever changed. As I called 911, I remember saying out loud, “Lord, this can’t be happening!!” Sitting in the den while the gracious members of the 911 squad and the coroner did what they had to do, and the police officer called my pastor to come. I felt numb, but had to keep going. Overnight, my life was forever changed—I loved my life—our life together. I was now on a new journey.
Grief is a journey—and everyone’s journey is different—different peaks and valleys, twists and turns, different navigational challenges, different time zones. Shadowlands helped me learn how to pack for the journey, how to unpack when the load was too heavy, how to ask others to walk with me—and being OK with asking for time alone.
Paul has been gone for almost 18 years, and I often have people say, I’m sure it gets easier with time.” My response? “No, I wouldn’t say it gets easier. It just gets different.” I both grieve and embrace the differences—and embrace each day as the precious gift it is. Right here, right now, is the only certainty I (any of us) have. I don’t want to waste a minute!
Thanks be to God for His incredible faithfulness.